We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
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i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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