Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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