Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You ruined the universe
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
