I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
