I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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