This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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