At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
