Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
