I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
