haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
