Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
