Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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