Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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