I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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