Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
