We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
be right there i have to get my cape
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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