I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
