My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
