did you get engaged???
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
