yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
