hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
