roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
