We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
