you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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