I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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