My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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