i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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