what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
