I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
