i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
