Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
