i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize