The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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