I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
