My brain says no but my pants say off.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
