PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize