Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize