im having a threesome with these popsicles
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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