i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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I think your dad took our porno
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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