You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
