Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
