dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
