3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
