she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
