I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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