Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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