worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
