these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
