Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
sex in a hospital.. check
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
