Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
