Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize