I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
