Can i not drive my cunt home
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
