Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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