Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
