IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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