I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Pants are for mortals
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
