She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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