I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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