The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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