That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
