Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
