hotel room ftw
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
