I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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