I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
